The Multimedia Effect

"I'm honestly starting to dislike my course."  

"i'm not really sure if i enjoy mma :( FACT: i still don't know what i want to study."

My Facebook status and tweets are quite different recently, I know. 

To tell the truth, when asked last time in our Inter-active Media class on what specific multimedia artist we want to be after graduating, I felt like being in a difficult level of a quiz bee. Maybe because I still don't know and since most of my classmates said it, (to be safe) I said "graphic artist.." but I suddenly added  "artist... in a wide range." 

When I say artist, I don't mean any kind involving multimedia devices, which is really confusing because I am now in my 2nd year of studying AB Multimedia Arts (AB MMA). 

Confession: Taking this course isn't my idea. Well, my mom didn't forced me to, it was a free-will. The thing is, back in highschool, when the question "What course will you take in college" comes, Multimedia Arts never even crossed my mind. I never even heard of it before (just few weeks before I enrolled it,) seriously. My mom suggested it, and hearing the word "Arts," I think that made me approved. 

A stupid move? Uhm, not really. My mom told me that I can become a graphic designer upon finishing this course and though I don't really know what a graphic designer exactly does, I somehow found it interesting.

If I'm not here in Manila, I'm probably in Angeles University Foundation now, taking up Information Technology. Oh my gosh, you don't know how grateful I am that I didn't pursue it! :O 

Studying Computer Fundamentals, one of our major subjects last year (1st year, 2nd sem,) was a hell. It revolves around the basics of I.T. and it made me cry. It almost brought me off the holy list. For others who didn't notice, CompFunda scared me more than TechDraw did.

And though I'm "kind-of" not appreciating MMA now, I consider it as my saving grace for not letting me take I.T. ahaha ;D Thank you!

Now, what is that "kind-of" in the previous paragraph? 

As oppose to what other might be seeing, if I have one weakness that can be really debatable, it would be computers/laptops/gadgets/technology, name it. I said this last Wednesday in front of the class but I don't think everyone really cared, ahaha. 

I appreciate arts. I'm not saying that I'm a great artist, sketcher, designer, or whatever, but I have a great passion over it. In highschool, I used to compete in every poster-making contests,  to be assigned  in decorating bulletin boards, to combine words wonderfully for articles, to passed projects that are well-done and appreciated by a lot, to dance and act with my classmates and friends... and maybe right now, these are the things I want to do. I want to be an artist of these things.

Trying to execute them in a different level and wauy is making me crazy. I'm really having a hard time studying Photoshop, Illustrator, video production, or any of our major subjects. Sometimes, I can't help but label myself with "IGNORANCE." I'm really clueless about these stuffs before and now, here I am, forcing myself to understand them. 

Feeling such, how will I enjoy? I don't even feel like attending my classes anymore. Now, I sound so irrational, very childish.

Bottomline: Even so, I'm not shifting or quitting. 

I know that come what may, I should start embracing these things that I find complicated. How will I learn them if I won't even try to, right? 

Saying this, I'm getting more pissed. 
 

Come on MOTIVATION and DETERMINATION,

make your way closer to me!

*I just hope that we may all pass our subjects and enjoy our studies. GOD blesses us always.*

xiXi =3