For a while now, I’ve slept, dreamed, and walked away from the bitter truth. The innocence it gave me was amazing, from the little things of beauty, the feeling was actually the best. It’s a place of a dream, away from the pain of reality.
I thought I was happy but I saw myself crying, realization that it was not sincere. The nightmare of real life had knocked again, dreaming over.
Though I know it was better to live with total innocence, it’s as if the only thoughts making me alive are the memories.
I’ve let go for so many times, but I just can’t move away. It’s clear that I don’t deserve such things like this, but I could not go away from the idea that for once in my life, you did came. But now. I’m not sure if that coming back of yours was for real or was just your escape from the burden you once had.
Stupid as it may seem, I said “I love you” for a thousand times, I believed, I hoped.
The stage of denial wasn’t really helping me at all, or maybe it did, but something in me is left hollowed. The funny thing about it…
I am letting go… AGAIN.
xiXi =3
So there it is. That was written originally February of this year.
I wasn’t really planning to post this, but since my next post is not yet done, I did this. I just want to share it.
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